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Comment #Line NumberCurrent TextProposed TextEditor Notes
 1240 Members of the Federation Operator are eligible to...What is Member of Federation Operator? Does it mean Federation Member? Or Federation operator’s staff? Clarify the example to avoid misunderstandings, people will use copy/paste anyway...Clarify language.
 2240...make use of the Federation Operator’s registrar to register entitiesWhat is Federation Operator’s registrar? The tool to manage SAML2 metadata? Or an individual employed by the federation operator whom the Federation Members can ask to update the metadata? Clarify the example to avoid misunderstandings.Add registrar definition.
 3246The membership process verifies that the prospective member...Clarify the membership process example to avoid misunderstandings. Is this the place where the process is defined? Who is responsible for making the checks in the membership process? The Federation member? The Federation operator? Clarify language - use joining rather than process.
249…a number of official databases.Please be explicit in the example to avoid misunderstandings.Not possible - this will need to be defined by the individual federation based on local practice.  Some examples could be given.
5257The member’s canonical name is disclosed in the entity’s <OrganizationName> element.To avoid misunderstandings and confusion, clarify that <OrganizationalName> means a SAML2 metadata element.Add SAML2.
270 registrationInstant="2016-11-29T13:39:41Z"Is the registrationInstant attribute the time when this entity was first registered or some of its metadata was last modified?   The MDRPI spec doesn’t make this clear to me…See comments from PS below.
310 Ensuring URLs specified in the metadata are technically reachableIf an entityID is a URL, does it need to resolve to a reachable page? Clarify Remove.
311 Ensuring protocol endpoints are properly protected with TLS / SSL certificates.    

Where “properly protected” is defined?

Further clarity would require the document to need updating too frequently could perhaps refer to standard best practice recs elsewhere?
9315, 322, 324 "Change" vs. "addition, change or removal"There seem to be conflicts in these lines regarding if the initial addition of a new entity is covered by this section at all. Line 324 says entity addition is covered by this section, 322 and 315 talk only about changes Slightly pedantic, has not real impact on meaning.